No half marathon for me... ever

In a post two days ago, I said this:

 “Am I finished with weight loss because I don’t really care about it anymore, and I’m more concerned with what I will be able to accomplish in the future? I’m beginning to train to run a half marathon, and will run one by the end of this year. That’s my major goal right now, and if weight loss comes that’s fine.”

Well, I went to my chiropractor last night, and she pretty much told me that running a half marathon is not possible. She said I most likely have a ruptured disk in my lower back, that running is making it worse all the time, and running 13 miles is not in the cards for me.

I kinda feel like I got punched in the stomach.

One part of me says, “Sure, it’s okay. You’ll just find another kind of exercise that you love… and you didn’t really love running anyway… and this is a great excuse to not have to do it anymore. Also, you could still run 5k’s like you did last year, because it didn’t hurt that bad.”

Another part of me says “This totally sucks. Now you’re not doing what you said you were going to do. You’ve pretty much lost your enthusiasm for everything other than running anyway, so without that what have you got? Your whole mantra for this year was run a half marathon… now what?”

I don’t know what now. I’m trying hard not to go into a tailspin. I feel like the last year of weigh loss, running, crossing finish lines, and happy cheers in my direction was all some dream that I’m waking up from. Like my body, which is still 60 pounds lighter than it used to be, is an illusion.