Reese's Eggs and Other Things I Must Look Away From

Immediately when I walk into my local grocery store, this is the gauntlet that I have before me:

...and these don't actually bother me very much, because I know they suck. But the stuff in this next picture appeals to two of my inherent senses: 1. chocolate, and 2. a DEAL!

The worst thing of all, however, is the inconspicuous little ditties hanging in the background of both of these pictures. These are the Reese's Easter Eggs.

 

Every year local stores fill up with these things, and they have gotten more aggressive with them each year. Last year I remember seeing a hand-written, yellow blast of info sort of sign stuck to them that said "FRESH!" and I was unable to pass the humongous stack of eggs without grabbing 4 or 5 for my cart. I guess just because they said they were fresh, and it was the first time I'd seen them in the store, and it was months before Easter, I figured I better get in on the extra special goodness. This year, I've found stacks of these gems in the oddest places around the store... in the book section, next to shampoo, and even next to the meat coolers.

I have found that, like a reformed pedophile in a schoolyard, I literally have to avert my eyes from these scrumptious goodies. I seriously look away, and it seriously helps. I look at the floor, I concentrate on my shopping list, and sometimes I look ahead to something healthy in front of me, like the produce section. This sounds like an inane trick, and maybe it is, but it gets the job done. I am almost always able to walk on by pretending they don't exist.

Now, I'm not sure that I'm going to make it all the way past Easter without eating one Reese's Easter Egg, and frankly I don't even know that that is entirely my goal. Maybe I should make it my goal...? If I had a challenge or something I think I could do it, especially if I had a partner who wanted to do it with me (any takers?). I'm going to do my best to avoid them though, whenever I can manage it. I'll also rely on my back pocket trick: "avoid it until it doesn't seem fresh and delicious anymore, and then you won't want it." That may work, but despite the "FRESH!" declaration of early last Easter Egg season, I'm pretty sure they pump enough preservation into these things to last a good many months with no noticeable effects.

Check back with me in a few months. If my ass has started to look like a big brown Easter egg, you'll know that I have failed miserably.