A year between two avatar pics

I took a new avatar picture the other day, and when I went to save it I realized that I’d taken an avatar pic almost exactly a year previous. I have one named 052611, and another 052510. I decided to open up that older picture and see how I’ve changed.

Here’s the 2010 picture…

And the 2011 one…

They’re both taken in the same office, with the same WVU banner in the background… but a very different person is looking out at me.

First of all, I have new hair. My old hair was long and always pony-tailed. It’s short now though, and I don’t think I’ll ever go back. I love having short hair, and instead of being the same every single day, my hair pretty much reflects the way I’m feeling on any given day. I love that about it.

My glasses are also different, but only slightly. They’re almost exactly the same shape as before, but now I wear purple glasses; and when I’m not wearing those, I wear bright, multi-colored ones. I think this says that my old tastes are the same, but they’ve become brighter.

I’m showing my teeth in the new picture, and in the old one I wanted to appear… thoughtful, I think. I don’t care now though; I just smile my flat smile with those orthodontist-corrected teeth for the world to see.

My face appears almost exactly the same. I’ve lost only a little bit of weight between last year and this year, and my face has pretty much stabilized. It’s not the potato head it once was. When I look back at the potato head pictures of my past, I love but also feel a little bit sorry for that old, fatter me, but I’ve totally embraced this new me. This is the face I will grow old with.

But  most importantly, and probably most noticeably (other than the hair), I look more free. The lighting doesn’t hurt… but I think the lighting actually tells part of the story. I’m not hiding at all. In the first picture it looks like I’m in a cave getting my body “ready” to show the world. In the new picture, I’ve shown it—and the world is pretty much indifferent, just as they should be. My body and my face are mine; I’m the one that cares so much about them. I feel now like it doesn’t matter what other people think. I’m not putting on a show for them. I’m living my life, and I’m damn proud of who I am: the part of me that has always been, and also the part of me that is brand new.