Why am I Ravenous?

It's almost lunchtime, and I have been chomping at the bit to eat since about ten o'clock. In fact, I don't think I'll be able to write all this until after I get some food in my belly. For now though, I'm thinking: why the heck do I feel this way right now? My first inclination was emotions. Sometimes a particular day will have me feeling down, and I want to quell that feeling with fatty and huge quantities of food. I thought about this though, and unlike in my past, I'm actually able to assess my self now. I know that I'm not feeling down. It's Friday, I had a great breakfast, and I feel like I have some direction and purpose today.

I've thought of two facts that may have led me to this feeling this morning:
1. I ate mostly carbs last night
2. I had no coffee this morning



Now I am back from lunch, where I did my best to eat right, but DAMN I was hungry. I went to Wendy's. Had a fish sandwich--no added cheese this time--and a Caesar side salad. I splurged by actually eating the croutons. They're not too bad, but none are as good as Bryan's home-made croutons dripping with olive oil. It was very hard to leave there without a pack of fries, a baked potato, or a frosty, but I managed.

So, lack of coffee probably had an effect on me this morning, but I'm hesitant to point to it as the main culprit. Yes, coffee gives me a bit of an appetite suppressant in the morning, delaying my need for breakfast for awhile. Coffee also makes me happy, which probably causes me to not feel like eating emotionally. These are all good reasons, but I just don't like the idea of coffee controlling me. Also, it's slightly depressing to remember this morning, coffee-less. It was sad.

On to the carb issue last night. At 5:30 I was headed back to work to take a quiz online, and told myself that I couldn't funciton without something to eat, and God help me if I had to have another friggin granola bar when all I wanted was something savory. Thus, I stopped at Tudor's and got pinto beans and cornbread. In itself, not horrible for me. Beans are good, cornbread not so much.

When I got home though, Bryan had ordered an extra special delicious (and slightly more nutritious) pizza, so I had to partake. I had 2 slices of Domino's new (and really great) pizza with: no sauce, chicken, spinach, and red peppers. It was great. Very salty and wonderful.

When the kids were in bed, I shouldn't have, but I rewarded myself with a stupid cupcake. Five days old and slightly smooshed, it lacked luster and I knew it would. I devoured it anyway. So goes the life of a sweets addict. Later, Bryan brought out the fancy chocolates, which I have told myself EVERY night are not really that delicious to me. They're too blah, and nothing like a good old fashioned Reese's egg. Still, I ate 3. Chocolates are wicked; 3 of them are like 175 calories.

So, last night was carbs, carbs, and more carbs. Carbs are like the crack of food. They suck you in, you consume 10x more than you meant to, and a few hours later they are begging you for company from their tiny graves in your stomach. (There are "good" carbs, of course, but pizza, old cupcakes and crappy chocolate do not qualify).

Today's lesson learned: Fill my belly with vegetables, low-fat proteins, not too much fat, and only reasonable kinds and amounts of carbs. Gotcha!

I'm on to my repeat of Week 4 Day 3 of Couch to 5k training this afternoon. I am going to rock it today. It's going to be one of those days where nothing can stop me.