Red Letter Evening

The kids and I had an awesome evening yesterday. Bryan is out of town this week for work, so our family is definitely out of balance. But we manage, and yesterday we thrived!

I had one of those really long days at work--the kind that leaves my eyes hot and burning and tired, and my nerves frayed. Upon arriving home, Tayan and I decided to hit the basketball hoop right away. It was awesome. I love not only that I am one of the very few moms who will legitimately play basketball with their 8 year old, but that Tayan is aware of that rarity and doesn't mind it. It means so much to me that memories of his childhood will include playing ball, running with, and laughing at fart jokes with his mother.

After hoops, I rousted Zene off the couch, and the three of us took Lupin to the dog park. Lupin was so happy. I mean, like seriously so happy. Anybody who has an old dog who no longer chews up furniture and meekly stays inside for 9 hours a day by himself, then is content to pretty much sleep all evening and night knows what I mean. The dog was downright thankful.

Zene whined pretty much the whole time we were there, but he does that. The kid doesn't like exercise or outside very much.

Back at home, I made dinner while the kids chilled. Also, the highlight of my evening: I read Tayan's report card, which is a narrative and a list of skills for many of which he earned a "Distinguished" mark. The narrative was just amazing. His teacher is so proud of him, and she wrote an extensive essay of his progress in each area, how he leads his group and is very kind and always does his work and takes constructive criticism while striving for perfection... I read much of it to Tayan, and by the end I had a hard time keeping my voice steady. He laughed and asked if I was crying (which he could totally tell I was), and I vehemently denied.

We had dinner, learned how to sign in to their math website so they can both get better at earning "skills," then got ready for bed. It was a red-letter evening.

And this morning I did 30 burpees, some regular and sideways crunches, plank, and Zene taught me to do the Too dee tah, which is ridiculous.

Where I've Been

There's no way to get around it: I've been absent. Absent from here, from any comments on the blogs I love to read, absent even from reading those blogs, even absent from Twitterings. I haven't been able to be found in any local gyms, nor running on the streets around my home, nor even in my basement workout room. I've been absent from all the old places where I used to spend time on myself.

Where have I been?

For awhile I was in only one place: work. I've never had a job like this before. I've never learned this much about anything in such a short time (except maybe when I was a toddler learning to talk/walk/etc). For awhile it was like I was on a rocky precipice with no ropes, no training, and barely any muscles, just hanging on and somehow managing to move upward. The difference between then and now is my attitude. In my mountain analogy, I guess I have managed to beg God to tilt the cliff just a little so that I can lay down once in awhile and rest. It's still there; I'm still moving; I'm just not letting it try to kill me anymore.

Since I've made this change, I have been working on my mind to get it healthy again. I've been reading books that have helped, have consulted sisters, mom, friends and husband, and I now feel that I'm on the right track. I used to only have issues with my body, and the issues with my mind were closely related to my body... but this was a different kind of thing altogether. I was scared of this new kind of problem, but I've got a hold of it now.

I feel like I am now back in a place where I can get my mind and body both happy by adding back exercise and focusing on what I eat. I'm continuing with the book regimen, the talking with those close to me, and planning to develop a routine of meditation.

Anyway, I went running this morning. It was hard to get up, but I did it, and I ran/walked for 24 minutes. Made up a good playlist for myself, laid my clothes out ahead of time, and even though it was 20-some degrees this morning, I went out. It was great. I feel great. I need to remember this feeling next time I don't feel like getting up to run.